We're All Doomed I tell ya!

If you're one of those people who likes to flick between news channels then you will have noticed that everyday there seems to be more evidence that Britain is now only one step away an Apocalypse.

a few examples:

Kids are now spend more time mugging old ladies and stabbing each than they do playing with lego, If they do decide to stay indoors and play xbox then they become obese,

We're all going to get trampled by some giant carbon foot, the ice caps will melt and warm the planet up (this isn't necessarily a bad thing), we'll all have to start bottling our farts to help preserve the ozone layer,

Immigrants have taken all our jobs and set up refugee camps in our back gardens,

Our house's aren't worth the money we paid for them, and our currency is worth about the same as Duck turd,

The right wing want to deport all people who can't trace their ancestry back to some pre-roman pagan sect, the left wing tell us we're responsible for all the wrongs in the world ever and we should give all our money to some African charity,

All men are bastards who drink too much, smoke too much, eat too much, fight too much, don't spend enough time with their kids, don't pay attention to their woman's "needs",

Women don't get the same amount of pay, can't have children, have too many children, drink too much, smoke too much, fight too much, don't have their "needs" met,

Schools are crap because we don't have enough teachers because they don't want to be prosecuted for raising their voice to a child, they're full of knives, drugs, guns, & pedophiles, exam's aren't marked correctly,

Our Hospitals are under-funded, full of health tourists, voilent, and so dirty that they kill more people than they cure,

We haven't got enough prison places, but we can't build more because we shouldn't be sending people there as it's not their fault they've committed crime, so we give them community sentences which people consider a soft option, meanwhile we prosecute people who defend their homes,

We hate the government and are seriously considering electing another government that we used to hate,

We're racist, homophobic, xenophobic, fattist, thinnist, Islamaphobic, anti christian, & anti-Semitic,

Oh, and it hasn't stopped raining for a whole week!