Twouble - pt.2

I don't want to go on and on about this as the media is doing a great job making sure we don't forget about it, but it does seem strange that Manuel would be embarrassed and upset about crude answerphone messages when his sweeter than sweet little Grand-daughter's chosen occupation is that of a "Satanic Slut".

Which is more embarrassing and upsetting?

The knowledge that Mr Brand has tupped her

or

That she is a willing servant of Satan?

I'll let you decide as I have nothing more to say on the issue.

In a lot of twouble

Its really is laughable when you consider the supposed mess the world's is in that England's main T.V. channels all report the Russel Brand/Jonathan Woss "scandal" as if it is the most obnoxious thing to happen ever.

I'm sure Manuel was most upset to hear about his Grand-daughters sexual exploits with Mr Brand but having almost constant 24/7 news coverage must be like rubbing salt in the wound - something which Basil Fawlty would take great delight in doing I'm sure. I found the Channel 4 coverage particularly galling as no sooner had they finished reporting with apparent moral indignation; than they were advertising Russel Brand's new comedy series set to go out on Channel 4 at some point in the near future. Still I suppose it was Channel 4 and if it is offensive to anyone anywhere in Britain then they see it as their duty to broadcast it.

Saying all this I don't really have an opinion on Russel Brand - okay he looks like a wannabe Captain Sparrow but if I had the chance to the investigate her intimate regions I probably would have done also (see picture). He has also given me cause to chuckle on occasion so I think I'll let him off with this one.

Johnathan Woss is a different matter though. This guy get millions to tell knob jokes every Friday night and has been past his sell by date since the 80's. I watched his chat show about two weeks ago for the first time in about 3 years and it hadn't changed a bit. He relishes incorporating his penis into every conversation whether it warrants penis talk or not. I think his todger is a little on the small side as he constantly has to reassure his guests of it's monstrous proportions.

I suppose I shouldn't moan too much as not hearing about wanker bankers is a welcome relief.

More credit woes

Over the years I was under the impression that Britain has one of the strongest economies in the world. If this is the case then why does Mr Brown need to borrow money. Surely we must have some reserves somewhere?!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7680449.stm

Another question that I feel needs answering is where does this loan come from? LoansDirect.com?

The problem with credit is that at some point it has to be paid back - a concept that some people seem unable to grasp. Mr Brown is evidently one of these individuals and is not worried about the repayments as he won't be living at No.10 when the bailiffs come knocking.

No trouble

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7670006.stm

This article made me titter to myself. It appears that much to our politicians surprise Lap Dancing clubs cause the local constabulary no problems on Friday or Saturday nights. As they were causing no ill effects on the weekend high street, it was deemed necessary to investigate them.

When deciding who to trust with this highly important mission one name rose up ahead of all of all others: Chief Inspector Studd.

After exhaustive investigation, Studd of the Met found that "such clubs were usually "well-run" and had a "high staff ratio to customers"". Unlike many local constabularies which are quite the opposite - perhaps they're all on special assignment at the Spearmint Rhino.

Perhaps my favourite part of the article is at the end.

"The rules, on how close customers can come to the dancers, for example, had proved difficult to enforce. With the best will in the world, when you get into the fine detail of it, as we have tried to do, on a couple of occasions, it's incredibly difficult to try and do that," added Chief Inspector Studd.

I'm just wondering whether Chief Inspector Studd and his officers took the proper health and safety precautions when "getting into the fine detail of it". Perhaps this means that the next time you visit your local lap dancing club and pay one of the young ladies to do what she does you can expect to see Officer Studd in his High-Vis jacket with tape meassure in hand, making the fine deatil remains just that.

Still crunching

So the American bail out came and went and it now transpires that we're still up the proverbial creek without a paddle. What's to blame for this terrible situation that we find ourselves in?
Individual members of the EU acting in their own interests rather than considering what's best for the EU as a whole. Now there's a surprise!
I guess it goes to show that even though we're all supposedly best EU buddies these days we still look after our own interests first. The fact that this comes as a shock to politicians is most amusing. After preaching to us all that the EU is mutually beneficial to all it's members it has become apparent that Europe's divisions run as deep as ever.
It's good to know that some things never change!

Captain Crunch

The credit crunch continues with increasing levels of hysteria and I find it amusing that all the Anti-American commentators in the media are suddenly looking to the big ol US of A to bail the world out of a problem that is the fault of each countries financial elite.

Of course I'm sure people of an anti-capitalist- "let's live in a cave sort of mentality" will be hoping that it all goes tits up and we can start putting all the bankers and middle class people in Gulags by the end of the year.

I've had a good think about the apparent financial meltdown recently and have decided to not get worked up about it as I'm one of those people who has never had a credit card, have a mortgage that I can afford, and have never tried to buy anything that the funds in the bank wouldn't allow.

For years Ive been called a tight arse by my friends and family but now find myself sitting back with a very smug grin on my face.