2009.......The story so far.........

2009's second month is upon us and what have we found out so far?

Well, it came as a bit of a surprise to many people that it snows during the winter months. Those most caught out decided the only sensible option was to barricade themselves inside their homes and huddle the family together under foil blankets. There they waited to see who would get to them first - the emergency services or death. I thought it might be a good idea to turn the central heating on. The BBC took great delight in telling us of the "Siberian Storms" that were fast approaching Britannia's shores which would transform London into a scene from The Day after Tomorrow. To us folk up north this was welcome news and cause for great celebration. Unfortunately, as with most things north of the Watford Gap, it didn't last long and cockneys across the capital soon started to thaw out and continue singing "knees up mother braawwn" as if nothing had happened.

Of particular note is the large numbers of apologies uttered by numerous people over the last few weeks. It seems everyone from bankers to Jeremy Clarkson are apologising for something. The fat cat W(b)ankers said sorry for bankrupting us, repossessing our houses, and leaving us at the mercy of the weather which I'm sure will be accepted by everyone affected. Off loading their guilt will surely enable them to sleep soundly in their beds of £50 notes and swan feathered pillows and if it doesn't then their forthcoming bonus will surely help to make a duvet of gold fibres. I'm not sure why Mr Clarkson needed to apologise to some idiotic Scottish cyclops as I thought they were mythical creatures. Perhaps the P.C. police at the Beeb thought it best to cover all bases.

I'm sure the rest of February will be full of optimism, warm weather, and money for all.