Religious Salesmen

I'm not a member of any particular faith but I have adopted a few of the principles that are common to most of the good ones, namely;

Being good,
Not murdering anyone;
Apologising when I've done something wrong,
Being respectful of others etc

The more i watch T.V. and read articles on the tinernet the more difficult it is to escape religious thought and rhetoric. Every faction seems to want to promote the requirements of their own particular belief. If I decided to nail my colours to the post and pick a faith to follow would I need to phone around and get a few quotes from religious salesmen in order to get the best deal? Would they then try to entice me into their brood with a few incentives?

For example:

Cashback for converts to Judaism.
Catholic converts get a few bottles of wine thrown in.
For converting to Islam you get a free trip to Mecca Bingo.

As this contract will probably be in force for the rest of your life I would strongly recommend checking the small print before signing anything.

A few clauses I have found:

Judaism - Being circumcised.
Catholicism - Lots of kids.
Muslim - Growing a beard.

I hope this helps anyone thinking of changing faith get a good deal.