Master Chief

This weekend my 16 year old brother challenged me to a game of Halo 3 with a few of his friends. He was adamant that he would be able to "pawn" me and was going to"own" my ass. Considering that I was the one who taught him how to play video games, I felt that a swift victory was assured (It made me wonder if this was what the British Generals thought the night before they started they're attack on the Somme).

There I was, a man of nearly-thirty facing off against 15 testosterone fueled adolescents, split into two teams - red & blue; confident of handing them their proverbial arses on a plate. I had after all, years of gaming experience to call upon and have been playing games since before they were a twinkle in the eye.

And so the game began.

I immediately started shooting the first thing I could see.

Unfortunately there were so many people to shoot that I could not decide which one of them should be the first to feel my wrath. I would start by hunting down a member of the blue team (I was red), only to decide that one of his colleagues would prove to be a better target. During these brief periods of deliberation the blue team thought it jolly good fun to snipe, beat down, kill, splatter, assassinate, or stick grenades to me. No sooner had I respawned and decided on a target, I was dead by one of the methods mentioned above. This continued until the game came to it's inevitable conclusion.

Red team: 45
Blue Team: 100
My kills: 3
My deaths: 32

The moral of this story?

Procrastinators do not make good Halo players.